Baby Steps

Day 5, Full strength of Phentermine

Today is the big day. I started the full-strength dose of Phentermine. I took it at about 915 am with breakfast. By 945, I’m starting to feel pain in my chest. Not sure if it’s heart burn, which seems to have reared its ugly head the last week or so, or the meds. Only time will tell. I’m also taking the Metformin every night with dinner.

I haven’t weighed in yet. I’m afraid of the scale. That was a really big number last week. The biggest ever. I know I need to weigh in at least weekly. But it’s so very degrading and disheartening. I look in the mirror, and all I see is a fat, middle aged, lonely woman. I know I am so much more than that, but it’s what I see. Part of this journey will be about retraining my brain to see what other’s claim to see in me. It’s not going to be easy. In fact, it may be the hardest thing I have ever done.

I’ve been tracking my food, or at least trying to, but that is also discouraging. The system I’m using, NOOM, is frustrating me. I’m making healthy choices, but I run out of calories before dinner. I don’t think I’ll continue past the free trial. Besides, $129.00 every four months is a lot of money. I’m better off buying a food journal on Amazon and using that money on a decent pair of walking shoes.

Okay, I did it. I went to the workout room at work and got on the scale. 323.  I’m okay with this. Now if I can just keep it up. 4.2 lbs in a week. Probably a bit fast to be sustainable, and it’s also most likely water weight, but I'll take it.